The Illusion of Self: Pattern Recognition in Acting

For many years now, I have been transfixed by the stealthy and profound power of Alexander Technique. I have often said it’s the world’s “best kept secret” as it has changed my life enormously since I began practicing it. I still struggle to understand why more people don’t know about it or practice it. It seems to answer so many questions people might have regarding chronic pain or psychosomatic illnesses. I was amazed when I found out that insurance companies don’t cover it - and then not so much - because why would insurance companies want to pay for something that is preventative, and could potentially help millions of people from future injuries and discomfort? It works deeply with the mind-body phenomena, drawing one’s attention to and untangling psycho-physical habits. It was discovered by F.M. Alexander, an actor himself, who was struggling with discomfort when speaking onstage. He studied himself in a mirror for many months, eventually identifying key habits that he was unaware of until that point. After replacing those habits with new, simple directions, his discomfort miraculously improved.

The technique is now commonplace in actor training, as artists all around the world have come to understand the vital importance of it. Artists of all disciplines, athletes, and people sitting at a computer all day have also discovered its benefits on their lives and physical practices. The first couple of years I was practicing the technique, I was coming at it from the standpoint of: “I want to have more ease when I’m acting. That seems like a positive thing to pursue”, which is certainly true. However, my teacher, the luminous Joe Krienke, helped me to understand a more philosophical and deeply embedded understanding of the technique in the work of an actor. While providing a heightened sense of ease and support for the actor, it is also folded into the fabric of everyday life. As one progresses through an understanding and embodiment of the technique, the actor’s channel becomes cleared. The actor moves through the world in an open, ready state, unimpeded by mental or physical barriers…ideally. When a stimulus is placed in front of the actor, be it text, costume, prop, scenery, image, or sound, the actor is capable of taking on this stimulus and being pulled in whatever direction needed.  Eventually then letting it go and returning to an open “neutral”.

In a sense, Alexander Technique clears some of the illusions people might’ve been holding onto, and makes room for more optimal patterns to emerge. If someone has been told by their singing teacher for years to do a certain thing with their neck or head when they sing, then that sure as hell is going to be a pattern that’s deeply ingrained in them every time they open their mouth to carry a tune. If a parent is constantly telling a child to sit up straight at the dinner table, they’ll likely carry that pattern with them for a very long time. It dawned on me that the notion of selfhood we all carry, or the ego, is an illusion, and that if my personality is made up of learned or inherited patterns then so must the characters which I seek to embody. It’s an illusion to them too. If everything is an illusion, that makes stepping into someone else’s shoes a lot easier, and more freeing in a way. I connected this thought with the work of the Alexander Technique. In fact, sitting in on other students' lessons in the technique, it isn’t uncommon for the clearing of the old pattern to completely disrupt the task they’re doing. An actor will go up on the lines of a monologue they’ve been doing for years, a singer's voice will crack or they’ll begin crying, a tap dancer will not know how to start. We are all living with patterns that may not serve us in the way we want them to. We are all living with stories that we tell ourselves, or that others have imposed on us. 

It sounds weird, but more recently when I look at a script, I look for patterns. Which is just my way of saying I look for the clues laid out by the playwright. Certainly nothing original or groundbreaking, but a way I unlocked a deeper understanding of analysis. If the writing is good, it makes my job so much easier. Even tending to the way a character's lines are laid out on the page, the words they choose to say, how much they say or how little, what they DO, and what others say about them. These are all patterns that make up the illusion of that character's life. If I can identify them, it frees me. Then, when a character breaks the patterns I’ve identified, it makes it all the more thrilling and interesting. Because while learned and inherited patterns may play a large role in composing the complex web of the ego, there is a multiplicity to all human beings that must be sought out in all characters. We are all full of surprises, contradictions, and nuance. I suppose the important thing about identifying key patterns in a characters’ behavior is that the dominant ones are the mask of the character. Meaning either how they are perceived by others or how they would like to be perceived. Whatever the patterns of a character may be, I take on the stimulus of their given circumstances and try to welcome the contradictions. The body comes along ready to play, hopefully surrendering completely to an illusion different from mine.